Tell Your People

I get to the office at 9:00 AM as per usual, load the computer up, store away my lunch in the mini fridge, turn the A/C on, open the blinds. I sit down, and as I do, one of our vendors opens the door. "We're doing the fire alarm test, the alarms are going to go off, tell your people." What? I told them last week to give me a day's notice so I can notify the building's tenants with time. No, now, I have to scramble.

So I write up a makeshift memo with the details, print 30 copies, grab some scotch tape, lock the door and head off. I do the first floor, the second. And then I see the vendor. "How long before the test?" I ask him, upon which he replies, "Ten minutes." I have ten minutes to comb there moor floors, which happened to be the one with most tenants, of course.

(You can see the 'Magic Button' as my boss calls it, on the bottom left corner)

After doing my rounds with as much speed and accuracy as possible, I head back to the first floor, unlock the door via 'the magic button' (automatic lock system with remote), I sit in my chair. And then he comes in. "Well, we're done!" I stare at him for a moment, as I never heard anything go off. "Did you test the alarm?" I ask, raising an eyebrow, which might have had a minor twitch. "Oh we didn't need to! Everything was in order!"

I stared at him some more. "Oh, alright." I say, as the images of me flying at him at super speed, fist smashing into his face, stars exploding in the background all ensues in my head. "Anything else I can help you with?" I say, with a smile that I'm sure gave away the lunacy floating in my mind. "Nope! No wait! Yes! I need you to sign here, do you have a pen?" I sign, he dates, he tells me to have a great day. The phone rings, some or another about something they want to sell me.

After hanging up, I quickly realize he took my last pen. Oh boy. There's that twitch again.